I'm back from the Confluence. I'm happy to say that I got what I went there for.
Last fall at registration time I posted about my reasons for going to the Ashtanga Yoga Confluence.
I said this: "More than anything else, during the 4 days, I am looking forward to hearing
about the work that they put in to make such lightness possible. I've seen video
clips of asana demonstrations by most of the teachers that will be at the
Confluence workshop and they are beautiful to watch, but it is their lightness
and ease in life that has impressed me far beyond what they can accomplish on
the mat. "
It is that lightness and ease in life that captured my attention over the 4 days. The Confluence came at a good time for me personally. Personal drama ratcheted up in the days before getting on the plane to San Diego, so that I was mentally screaming when it was finally time to pack the bags.
I left with two questions:
1) How do I do this with some semblance of equanimity?....practice, teach, work, maintain my relationships...
2) Is it worth the work to try?
I came back with some answers:
1) Sometimes you don't do this with any kind of equanimity. Somewhat like asana practice, life practice is often a teeter totter between effort and ease, which refuses to balance steadily on a point. You keep trying, note that you feel like nothing is changing, and are astonished when it does.
2) Yes, yes, and again yes.
I'm grateful to the those who had the idea to try to pull this event together. I'm grateful to the teachers for sharing their talents in the Mysore room, but really more importantly for sharing some of their lives with us. I'm grateful to all of those who have dedicated their lives to sharing this practice. It is this practice that is able to push me towards the most honest expression of my life and for that I am grateful as well.