more on yoga and life...
I'm having a week...can't decide what kind or how I feel about it. Tuesday, I got hit by a car while biking home from work. I'm fine. I have some lovely purple bruises and my left elbow doesn't feel great in chataranga position, but I'm really fine.
Initially, I was just all around pissed off...angry at the driver who failed to yield and who should have had no difficulty seeing me right in front of her...angry about the impending bike repairs.
After something like 9 years of daily Ashtanga practice, though, it seems I can't help but step back and watch all of the inner and outer drama. Noticing is a habit now. I am on one level dealing with all the life stuff (making alternate transportation arrangements, taking the bike in for repairs) and on another level watching my own response to it.
I'm fascinated with how the body responds to the inner drama and vice versa. Wednesday morning, I did a gentle half primary. I wanted to take it easy in case there were any injuries that were slow to appear and I just couldn't face the intensity that I feel in second series. All the inconveniences of being without my regular transportation started to pile up, but I moved through the day with a reasonable amount of steadiness.
This morning, I did most of my regular second series practice with modifications for my left elbow....and as I know well by now, when you open up the body, you open up everything else. Sure enough, by mid-day I was holding back tears and counting the minutes until I could leave work. The physical experience is not separate from the internal experience.
The whole experience reminds me of Susan's recent post. I didn't feel any initial fear or adrenaline during the actual being knocked off my bike part. It took 48 hours for a few tears to leak out and it does have much the same feeling of "backbending weirdness" or "nerve-cleansing tears" as she put it...and in that way it feels familiar.
Tomorrow, I'm looking forward to nice grounding Friday primary practice and then picking up my newly repaired bike at the shop....and hoping for a quiet, uneventful weekend.