Curiouser and curiouser...didn't sleep...gave up the effort at 4:30. I couldn't face second series; did primary. I couldn't face the opening up and wanted a security blanket. When nothing else can quiet the mental hamster wheel and sooth the body, primary can. Its gentle stretches down the hips, free anger and self-pity to dissolve. Where does jealousy live in the body?
It still astonishes me when I look in from the outside, that something that used to waste me fully, the primary series, now soothes. The pose within that series that took the most time to settle in my body and brain, supta kurmasana, now feels like pouring cold water on an over-heated nervous system. Steam still results, but nerves cool down.
When I head to Mysore in February, it will be the first time in more than 7 years, that I will experience practicing only primary, with no second as my daily practice. This is my first trip and I have no expectations of practicing anything else. I am curious what that will feel like. The intermediate sequence has asked that I open, and then open, and then open again. Finally, it's starting to feel like that opening might be tethered to some kind of central core. More stability would still be most welcome. Who wouldn't want it to be just a little bit harder to get knocked off their center. I'm wondering if 4 weeks of primary series practice will provide some needed grounding, or if India itself and the experience of Mysore will provide the nerve-cleansing aspect despite moving through a daily sequence of primary poses.